How to Get a Shower

Until I became a mom, I never realized what a luxury a daily shower was!  We don't mention it much but those days with a baby in the house can make it difficult to attend to our personal hygiene.  Here's some tips I have learned through trial and error:

In the first two weeks postpartum:

That first shower after giving birth feels downright magical!  Before it you feel literally bloodied, bruised and like you've been through battle; after it you feel almost human again!  Usually there are plenty of helping hands around in the day or two after birth to ensure that you get that first magical showering experience.

Next thing you know a couple days have passed, your milk has come in and is leaking *everywhere*, your newborn is spitting up or getting pee and poo all over the place, and you feel pretty gross because you've just realized you've yet to have an opportunity to repeat that magical thing called a shower.

The best thing to do in these early weeks is insist that your partner hold your newborn while you hop in the shower.  You deserve it!  You've just brought a new life into the world!  The least your partner can do is help give you some semblance of a normal bathing routine!

If you're lucky, your partner may have been able to take some time off work in the first couple weeks so take advantage!  If not, just shower when your partner is available to help and don't worry about what time it is.  Trust me, a shower at 6:30PM will feel as grand as a shower at 6:30AM.

If you don't have a partner to help (or even if you do), I highly recommend hiring a postpartum doula if you can afford one!

Up to about 4 months of age (or until baby can roll over):

As your baby gets older and you settle into life with your little one, you are going to want a dependable routine that allows you regular opportunities to shower.  Some moms might feel ok putting baby in a crib or bassinet and bringing the monitor into the bathroom.  But if you are like me, you might want to be closer to the baby, and if you follow an attachment parenting approach, your baby may prefer to be close to you as well.

Here are some ideas:

• Bring a moses basket into the bathroom, place baby in the basket and leave the curtain open a crack so you can see baby.  
• If you have a lightweight baby carrier you don't typically use you can put baby in it and shower while wearing him/her.  I did this with an old snugli for my girls.  It was nylon so it dried relatively quickly and I just hung it in the shower.
• Similar idea to a moses basket: place baby in a bouncy seat and leave the curtain open for better visibility.
• Start a "family shower" routine.  Every Sunday, my husband and the baby and I would jump in the shower together.  The parents can take turns holding the baby and cleaning themselves.  Bonus is that when you are the one holding the baby, you can also clean the baby too.
• Take a bath sometimes.  Tuesdays were my mama and baby bath day.  I didn't feel quite as able to get as clean but it was better than nothing!

That awkward 4-6 ish month age:

That age where your baby can roll over and is reaching for toys and wanting to *do* things but can't quite sit up independently yet can be a challenge, because it's not safe to use the moses basket anymore and it might not even be safe to use a bouncy seat.   This may require you to use the other techniques listed above and/or rely a little more on your partner.

6 - 12 ish months (or "able to sit up and possibly even crawl, but not pulling up or walking yet"):

As long as your baby is content to sit, you can use a bath seat for him/her while you shower.  They suction to the bottom of your tub and have a bar to hold baby into the seat a bit, but if you have a baby that's trying to pull up and does not like to sit there, it may not be safe.  However, until then, you are right there to supervise and ensure safety while they sit and you shower.

Young toddlers:

Honestly, I'm trying to remember what I did in this phase!  I think I got a lock for my toilet seat, made sure there weren't any other possible dangers in the room, and just shut the toddler in the bathroom with me and gave the toddler a couple of toys. And I would leave the curtain open just a bit to keep an eye on the little one. Sometimes, I think I also brought the toddler in the shower with me if they were solid enough on their feet.  Worst case scenario, just take a bath with them.  It will get you cleaner than when you were taking a bath with a little baby and they are less likely to slip and fall if you are sitting at their level, especially if they are pulling up but not stable walkers yet.

Older toddlers and preschoolers:

Shower with them!  Seriously, it's just easier this way--they get clean and you don't have to worry what they're up to.  I showered with my kids til they felt they didn't want to anymore, and that extended actually a little beyond preschool age--like up to age 6 they were generally fine with showering with me.  Some kids may be even older before modesty kicks in...

School age kids:

Mine have always been pretty good.  I just make sure to reiterate the rules while I'm in the shower (what they may and may not do), and then I let them do their thing while I do mine.  A bigger challenge at this age is reminding your school age kid that they need to shower too!  But that's a whole different post!


A similar topic to showering would be when you need to, ahem, use the bathroom for other reasons and you have a little baby.  It's happened to us all: a sleeping baby strapped to you in a baby carrier and suddenly nature calls.  I think there's nothing wrong with taking care of your business while baby stays in the carrier.  It's a little awkward at first but it can be done.  If baby is not in a carrier, I generally followed similar techniques to those of showering, though really just sitting the baby on the floor or shutting the bigger baby/young toddler in the bathroom with you is usually easier than strapping them into a seat of some kind, since you won't be in there as long (presumably ;)).

Whatever techniques you use and routines you establish, be sure to care for yourself!  Mother the mother!  You can't be available to nurture your little one if you haven't nurtured yourself!

Hello Out There

As my first post, I will set out to define what "From the Edge of the Milky Way" represents.

First, a little about me.  If you click on my profile you will see the following introduction (and don't worry if you don't know what all the terminology below means; jargon will be explained in the future):
"I am a mom of 3 wonderful children. I hold a BS in Music Education, a BS in Physics and Astronomy and an MS in Physics. During various times in my life, I have worked either as a teacher, musician, scientist or stay-at-home mom. I follow a "natural parenting" philosophy, preferring natural births, extended breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, cloth diapering and elimination communication. I am also a vegan, an atheist, an environmentalist, and a politically liberal person. I support alternative education: two of my three children attend a Montessori elementary school, and my third child will likely either be homeschooled or attend a Montessori school. I am fascinated by the idea of life on other planets, and have studied extrasolar planets as a graduate student researcher, confirming several transits of giant planets through my observations. My Publications: Master's Thesis: http://etd.library.pitt.edu/ETD/available/etd-08122011-222923/ Papers in The Astrophysical Journal: http://arxiv.org/abs/1008.4129
http://arxiv.org/abs/1206.5514"

Knowing the multi-faceted nature of my personality, as well as seeing the underlying threads that connect my various interests and philosophies makes it easier to understand the purpose of this blog.

What does "From the Edge of the Milky Way" mean?  It could mean several things:

1.  The story of how the Milky Way was named comes from Greek or Roman mythology (whichever you prefer), both of which depict some kind of goddess whose breastmilk came spraying out into the cosmos to form the Milky Way.  The reference to the Milky Way in the title of the blog could be seen to represent breastfeeding, as I am an advocate of breastfeeding (and currently a nursing mother). Breastfeeding can then in turn be seen to represent the "natural parenting" philosophy I follow.  I understand that not all "attachment" or "natural" parents are able to breastfeed, and I understand that not all breastfeeding moms follow a natural parenting philosophy.  However, so much of the natural parenting lifestyle can be seen as an extension of the breastfeeding relationship that I think it serves as a good emblem of my parenting philosophies.  Such extensions can be seen long after the child has weaned from the breast--even as my oldest child enters puberty, you can still see the qualities that originally were nurtured years ago by our nursing relationship when she was little.

2.  Of course we now know that the Milky Way is comprised of billions of stars, and that the place we inhabit in the milky way is actually near the outer edge of one of the spiral arms.  So quite literally, we earthlings exist on the edge of the Milky Way.  The significance of this reality is that I will argue that the things I discuss on this blog may seem "out there" but are actually quite "natural," as is our position in the cosmos ("out there" but "a natural truth").  This in fact is the crux of the premise behind this blog: that instead of my views being too radical or out in left field, they can also be seen as logical, natural, and realistic positions.

3.  My educational background in astrophysics and my research into extrasolar planets has given me the perspective that there are countless worlds just in our stellar neighborhood, and that there are likely to be a plethora of planets even just in our own galaxy that host a wide variety of exotic life forms.  Such a thought is at the same time exciting and worthy of self-reflection.  We may feel lonely out here in this elegant spiral arm, but we are not alone.  We are beginning the process of finding our nearest neighbors that share our rough position within the galaxy, and beyond us are billions of other stars, possibly with a wide assortment of strange planetary oases.  Taking this situation as a metaphor, those of us whose political, philosophical, and lifestyle identities are really "out there" often feel alone.  This blog represents a small attempt to reach out to others like me.  And at the same time, it recognizes the wild diversity of thought and lifestyles that coexist in the bustling metropolis of this intelligently-inhabited world.  And I am fascinated by those other lifestyles as well.  I have many friends from a whole spectrum of belief systems and I both respect each individuals' lifestyle choices and seek to understand them.  Many times, even if we disagree, we often gain insight from each other and our lives become richer from such an open dialogue.  Thus I welcome everyone to read, follow, and/or comment on this blog.  My only rule is that all commentary be respectful.  There is a fine line between sharing alternative viewpoints and engaging in senseless debate.  I will delete whatever I find to fall into the latter category.

I hope this post intrigues you and I look forward to further intellectual conversation.