In honor of my baby girl's 8th birthday today, here is her birth story (written shortly after her birth--edits from the original appear in brackets):
I awoke at 4:00AM on Saturday morning, March 13, 2004 with light contractions. I thought for sure they were just more of the Braxton-Hicks contractions I had been having for the past couple weeks, especially when nursing my two-year-old, Sarah. I thought it would be best to try to go back to sleep. I think deep inside I knew this was it, but I convinced myself that, even if it was, I should rest and conserve my energy. Not getting some sleep had been my biggest mistake in my prolonged labor with Sarah, and I did not want to repeat that mistake. Try as I might, though, I just could not sleep for the excitement of realizing the contractions were becoming regular. I did manage to rest in between them, but I felt my being awake might disturb Sarah or my [then] husband Alex, so I got up and went to rest on the couch in the spare bedroom.
Just before 6:00AM, I felt a sort of ripping sensation during the height of a contraction. That was followed by a small rush of amniotic fluid, and I realized my membranes had ruptured, although not as dramatically as they had when they were artificially ruptured during my labor with Sarah. I grabbed a towel and dried off, and checked to see if the water was clear, which it was. I thought my labor might speed up at this point, so I woke up Alex to tell him what was going on. Then I went back into the spare bedroom while Alex got some of our supplies ready.
The contractions were still seven to ten minutes apart. They were easy enough to stay on top of simply by focusing on relaxation and visualizing my cervix opening up. I felt as though each contraction was dilating my cervix a little more. It was actually kind of neat to be so in tune with my body, having no distractions--just letting go and marveling at the miracle of birthing. I rubbed my belly between contractions and told the baby not to be scared; that soon we would be together and finally meet face to face.
At 7:00AM I thought we should call our midwife, Ellen, to let her know I was in labor. Although I had this lingering feeling that this labor was much more productive and would go much more quickly than my last, my logical brain was still saying it was very early in the labor. So I told Ellen I would call her again in an hour with a progress report. I did not want her to have to make the almost-two-hour drive until I was sure I was in hard labor.
Around 7:30AM Sarah woke up and wanted her morning nursing, and I was handling the contractions so well, I thought I should oblige since I was not sure if I would be feeling up to nursing her later. So we sat in bed and nursed, and the nipple stimulation really made the contractions closer together and more intense. I had three good strong contractions just in the short time I nursed Sarah. I had already eaten an energy bar, but I thought if I wanted to get some breakfast, I had better eat soon before things got too intense.
Alex had been frying up some hash browns, so Sarah and I went to the kitchen to get some. I took a few bites, and then a strong contraction came. I felt I needed to stand so I got up and leaned over a chair. Sarah said, "What's mommy doing? Mommy relaxing?" Alex said, "Yes, mommy's relaxing." The funny thing was that it helped me remember to keep relaxing. After a short time came another pretty strong contraction and I told Alex to call Ellen back and tell her to come while I went to take a shower. Alex called Ellen around 8:15AM and told her to come but not to rush too much--we both figured it would still be a few more hours. I went to the bathroom to take a shower, but standing and walking was picking up labor even more. After several contractions while trying to get undressed, I decided to forego the shower and just go back to the couch in the spare bedroom.
I found it comfortable to be on all fours on the couch, swaying my hips, and by by myself for a while. I wanted to be in the water, though, so I asked Alex to set up the labor pool and let me know as soon as it was ready. Around 9:00AM he said there was probably enough water in it for me to get in, so I did, and got back on hands and knees. Alex had called my mom to take Sarah shopping for a while and she walked in the door right at the peak of a contraction and started talking to my sister in the kitchen, which was really distracting to me. I asked for everyone to leave, and they were all fumbling to get Sarah's stuff together and head out the door. It was hard to relax with the hustle and bustle going on and the contractions seemed to be coming right on top of each other, sometimes with double peaks of intensity. I tried be silent and concentrating on relaxing and then I started singing. Long, deep tones helped me stay calm. I also reminded myself that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, and it seemed to loosen me up if I closed my eyes and smiled a little as I sang.
My mom, my sister and Sarah finally left, and then things started becoming more wild. I was having difficulty staying on top of the contractions, and I was not getting enough of a break between them to regain my composure. I tried to go on auto-pilot and not think too much, just let my "monkey" do it, as Ina May [Gaskin, famous midwife from The Farm in Tennessee and author of "Spiritual Midwifery,"] would say. In other words, let my primal side take over, rather than letting my logical side run the show. That worked for a little bit, but then I started losing it. I draped my arms over the side of the pool and started screaming. Alex held me and told me to stay calm. I said I could not do it; that the contractions were never-ending. He said that means it is almost over, but I did not believe him. It had occurred to me that I was in transition, but it seemed like it was way too soon--Ellen was not even there yet.
It was hard not to panic or freak out. Another contraction came, and I started thrashing back and forth into the side of the pool and beating my fists against the floor and screaming. Alex tried again to calm me down, and it helped a little. I lowered my voice and leaned on him, saying over and over, "I just want a break... I just want a break." A much-needed break between contractions was so short as to be imperceptible by me. During the next few contractions I was alternating between crying, wailing, and trying to bite Alex. Then suddenly I felt the urge to push. I pushed during one contraction, and then had an overwhelming need to leave the water. "I have to get out of here!" I said and got out and went straight to our bedroom, where, thankfully, Alex had already covered the bed in plastic.
I immediately got on all fours again and told Alex I had to push. He said, "No not yet; Ellen's still not here." I said I had to and pushed with the next contraction. It felt so relieving to push--relieving and powerful at the same time. Alex put his arm around my shoulder, kneeling beside me and holding my hand. I pushed again with the next two contractions, and then it felt like the head was coming out. Alex happened to stop and look and he said, "Oh my God, Mel, there's the head!" I felt it burning and tried to slow down when I thought the head was crowning, but I was not sure exactly when that was and felt that I was tearing a little. The next push brought out the head, and Alex said, "Wait, cord." So I panted while he unraveled the cord, and then I really wanted to keep pushing. I asked him if it was ok to push again, and he said yes. I was determined to get the shoulders out easily this time, since they were stuck with Sarah's birth, and I wanted the baby out to be sure everything was ok, especially since Ellen was not there. So I gave a strong push and out the baby came. I heard crying almost immediately. Alex suctioned a little and then said, "It's a girl!" He passed her to me and I sat down with her and tried to nurse her, but she was not very interested at the time. Alex called my mom's cell phone and told them to come back because the baby was born. It was 10:00AM and they had just left 20 minutes before and had not even made it to the store yet, so they were shocked!
I massaged my uterus a little and pushed the placenta most of the way out and soon my mom, my sister, and Sarah came in the door to greet the new baby. Ellen made it right after them, and helped me get the placenta the rest of the way out, clamped and cut the baby's cord, and got me cleaned up. She said I had torn a tiny bit but nothing that required stitches. She weighed the baby at eight pounds and measured her to be twenty and a half inches long. We named her Ashley [middle and last name omitted for privacy]. Soon she and Sarah were nursing together in our bed, looking at each other and Sarah reaching out to stroke Ashley and everyone gathering around.
I awoke at 4:00AM on Saturday morning, March 13, 2004 with light contractions. I thought for sure they were just more of the Braxton-Hicks contractions I had been having for the past couple weeks, especially when nursing my two-year-old, Sarah. I thought it would be best to try to go back to sleep. I think deep inside I knew this was it, but I convinced myself that, even if it was, I should rest and conserve my energy. Not getting some sleep had been my biggest mistake in my prolonged labor with Sarah, and I did not want to repeat that mistake. Try as I might, though, I just could not sleep for the excitement of realizing the contractions were becoming regular. I did manage to rest in between them, but I felt my being awake might disturb Sarah or my [then] husband Alex, so I got up and went to rest on the couch in the spare bedroom.
Just before 6:00AM, I felt a sort of ripping sensation during the height of a contraction. That was followed by a small rush of amniotic fluid, and I realized my membranes had ruptured, although not as dramatically as they had when they were artificially ruptured during my labor with Sarah. I grabbed a towel and dried off, and checked to see if the water was clear, which it was. I thought my labor might speed up at this point, so I woke up Alex to tell him what was going on. Then I went back into the spare bedroom while Alex got some of our supplies ready.
The contractions were still seven to ten minutes apart. They were easy enough to stay on top of simply by focusing on relaxation and visualizing my cervix opening up. I felt as though each contraction was dilating my cervix a little more. It was actually kind of neat to be so in tune with my body, having no distractions--just letting go and marveling at the miracle of birthing. I rubbed my belly between contractions and told the baby not to be scared; that soon we would be together and finally meet face to face.
At 7:00AM I thought we should call our midwife, Ellen, to let her know I was in labor. Although I had this lingering feeling that this labor was much more productive and would go much more quickly than my last, my logical brain was still saying it was very early in the labor. So I told Ellen I would call her again in an hour with a progress report. I did not want her to have to make the almost-two-hour drive until I was sure I was in hard labor.
Around 7:30AM Sarah woke up and wanted her morning nursing, and I was handling the contractions so well, I thought I should oblige since I was not sure if I would be feeling up to nursing her later. So we sat in bed and nursed, and the nipple stimulation really made the contractions closer together and more intense. I had three good strong contractions just in the short time I nursed Sarah. I had already eaten an energy bar, but I thought if I wanted to get some breakfast, I had better eat soon before things got too intense.
Alex had been frying up some hash browns, so Sarah and I went to the kitchen to get some. I took a few bites, and then a strong contraction came. I felt I needed to stand so I got up and leaned over a chair. Sarah said, "What's mommy doing? Mommy relaxing?" Alex said, "Yes, mommy's relaxing." The funny thing was that it helped me remember to keep relaxing. After a short time came another pretty strong contraction and I told Alex to call Ellen back and tell her to come while I went to take a shower. Alex called Ellen around 8:15AM and told her to come but not to rush too much--we both figured it would still be a few more hours. I went to the bathroom to take a shower, but standing and walking was picking up labor even more. After several contractions while trying to get undressed, I decided to forego the shower and just go back to the couch in the spare bedroom.
I found it comfortable to be on all fours on the couch, swaying my hips, and by by myself for a while. I wanted to be in the water, though, so I asked Alex to set up the labor pool and let me know as soon as it was ready. Around 9:00AM he said there was probably enough water in it for me to get in, so I did, and got back on hands and knees. Alex had called my mom to take Sarah shopping for a while and she walked in the door right at the peak of a contraction and started talking to my sister in the kitchen, which was really distracting to me. I asked for everyone to leave, and they were all fumbling to get Sarah's stuff together and head out the door. It was hard to relax with the hustle and bustle going on and the contractions seemed to be coming right on top of each other, sometimes with double peaks of intensity. I tried be silent and concentrating on relaxing and then I started singing. Long, deep tones helped me stay calm. I also reminded myself that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, and it seemed to loosen me up if I closed my eyes and smiled a little as I sang.
My mom, my sister and Sarah finally left, and then things started becoming more wild. I was having difficulty staying on top of the contractions, and I was not getting enough of a break between them to regain my composure. I tried to go on auto-pilot and not think too much, just let my "monkey" do it, as Ina May [Gaskin, famous midwife from The Farm in Tennessee and author of "Spiritual Midwifery,"] would say. In other words, let my primal side take over, rather than letting my logical side run the show. That worked for a little bit, but then I started losing it. I draped my arms over the side of the pool and started screaming. Alex held me and told me to stay calm. I said I could not do it; that the contractions were never-ending. He said that means it is almost over, but I did not believe him. It had occurred to me that I was in transition, but it seemed like it was way too soon--Ellen was not even there yet.
It was hard not to panic or freak out. Another contraction came, and I started thrashing back and forth into the side of the pool and beating my fists against the floor and screaming. Alex tried again to calm me down, and it helped a little. I lowered my voice and leaned on him, saying over and over, "I just want a break... I just want a break." A much-needed break between contractions was so short as to be imperceptible by me. During the next few contractions I was alternating between crying, wailing, and trying to bite Alex. Then suddenly I felt the urge to push. I pushed during one contraction, and then had an overwhelming need to leave the water. "I have to get out of here!" I said and got out and went straight to our bedroom, where, thankfully, Alex had already covered the bed in plastic.
I immediately got on all fours again and told Alex I had to push. He said, "No not yet; Ellen's still not here." I said I had to and pushed with the next contraction. It felt so relieving to push--relieving and powerful at the same time. Alex put his arm around my shoulder, kneeling beside me and holding my hand. I pushed again with the next two contractions, and then it felt like the head was coming out. Alex happened to stop and look and he said, "Oh my God, Mel, there's the head!" I felt it burning and tried to slow down when I thought the head was crowning, but I was not sure exactly when that was and felt that I was tearing a little. The next push brought out the head, and Alex said, "Wait, cord." So I panted while he unraveled the cord, and then I really wanted to keep pushing. I asked him if it was ok to push again, and he said yes. I was determined to get the shoulders out easily this time, since they were stuck with Sarah's birth, and I wanted the baby out to be sure everything was ok, especially since Ellen was not there. So I gave a strong push and out the baby came. I heard crying almost immediately. Alex suctioned a little and then said, "It's a girl!" He passed her to me and I sat down with her and tried to nurse her, but she was not very interested at the time. Alex called my mom's cell phone and told them to come back because the baby was born. It was 10:00AM and they had just left 20 minutes before and had not even made it to the store yet, so they were shocked!
I massaged my uterus a little and pushed the placenta most of the way out and soon my mom, my sister, and Sarah came in the door to greet the new baby. Ellen made it right after them, and helped me get the placenta the rest of the way out, clamped and cut the baby's cord, and got me cleaned up. She said I had torn a tiny bit but nothing that required stitches. She weighed the baby at eight pounds and measured her to be twenty and a half inches long. We named her Ashley [middle and last name omitted for privacy]. Soon she and Sarah were nursing together in our bed, looking at each other and Sarah reaching out to stroke Ashley and everyone gathering around.
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